Any youngster may be the little girl in the picture, singing into a toy microphone while she sits at a piano. However, she is Billie Eilish, one of the biggest singers in the world since she was 14 years old, known for her hazy and melancholic pop sound and the vocalist of the upcoming James Bond theme song. At the age of 19, she is about to release her second album, Happier Than Ever, and has recently rebranded herself. Her bleached hair and sexy makeover on the Vogue cover this week sparked a thousand debates. Prior to the record, though, she is releasing a more private project: a book of family photos that offers fans a peek into her early years and non-fans a very moving look at the weird side of celebrity.
Although Eilish adores her family photo books, she tells the Guardian that “they are way too valuable” and she will not risk carrying them on a road trip. “At home, though, I always make it a point to sit down and go through them every now and then because I love doing so.”
The book feels unavoidably personal, particularly for a young woman who has openly discussed how difficult it is for her to strike a balance between her need for privacy and her admirers’ insatiable want for all things Eilish. She told Vogue this week, “It is too much for them, too much for me, and it is not healthy.” She painstakingly chose every image in the book. “I feel like I shared a lot in the book, but it was really difficult going through and deciding what to include,” she adds. “I almost included some stuff, but I decided against it after realizing that people did not need to know.”
Eilish, in contrast to a lot of young pop stars, did not go through the Disney pipeline or the child actor route, and based on pictures shared by her family, she seems to have had a quite ordinary upbringing. One grainy photo taken shortly before her 12th birthday, when she decided to spend waiting on the side of the road with a group of fellow Justin Bieber fans for a glimpse of the singer driving past, captures the strangeness of her ascent—posting a song to SoundCloud at age 13 and landing a record deal at age 14. A few years and several pages later, we see young admirers sobbing at her own performances, standing in line for hours to get her signature, and reaching out to touch her arm.
Eilish’s family has consistently supported her work; her parents travel with her and her elder brother, Finneas O’Connell, who writes and produces many of her songs. Along with the book, her parents Maggie and Patrick will be featured on the audiobook, where they will share their recollections of their well-known daughter. Will she continue to include her parents now that she is 19? Without a doubt, she responds. “I choose to spend time with my parents because I love them.” They provide me with space when I need it since they are aware of my need for it. Even if we do not do everything together anymore, I still enjoy them and want them in my life.
With the comment, “back when I could use public transport without being mobbed,” one picture depicts her dozing off on a train. Though it is difficult to imagine having nostalgia over dozing off in a little seat, not many of us are as easily recognizable as Eilish. Looking over old pictures from before her quick ascent to prominence at the age of 14 “honestly just made me grateful for it,” instead of making her feel angry about the limitations of celebrity.
“For this book, I looked through a lot of old photos from my life, and there were a lot of things that made me miss and feel nostalgic about a lot of the things I looked through,” the author explains. Overall though, it helped me realize that I would not want to go back and increased my gratitude for the life I have now. I would not alter a thing.